Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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