erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
