so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
