i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize