i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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