So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
