I wish you could order shots online.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
