If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize