Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
