Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
