i jhust puked up my retainher.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
