My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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