new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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