Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
