I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
