What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
