His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
