What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
