It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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