im holly from the hills drunk
I intend to get homeless drunk
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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