How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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