that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
