What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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