We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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