i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
