Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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