"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i think my tv is drunk
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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