her vagine was all disorganized.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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