Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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