When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
