yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Best friends brother. Beat that.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
