whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
