he told me I talked like a deaf person
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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