Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
