i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
