I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
