She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
