I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
