My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
