from now on my penis is your penis
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
