I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
