Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize