some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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