Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
