We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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