I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
