I bet he comes in French.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
