i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
