You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
