careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
