Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
