his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
