: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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