But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize