Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
