Quick, to the slutcave!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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