would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
