Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
