I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
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