I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize