If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Randomize
