I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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