We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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